ГђГ Г§ГЈГ®ГўГ®Г°Г» Г®ГЎ ГЂГ¬ГҐГ°ГЁГЄГҐ

Debaser

Г„ГЁГ ГГ ,

Г…Г±Г«ГЁ ГЅГІГ® Г±Г®ГЇГ°Г®ГўГ®Г¤ГЁГІГҐГ«ГјГГ®ГҐ ГЇГЁГ±ГјГ¬Г®, ГІГ® Г®ГГ® ГГЁГЄГіГ¤Г ГГҐ ГЈГ®Г¤ГЁГІГ±Гї, ГЁГ§ГўГЁГГЁ Г§Г Г®ГІГЄГ°Г®ГўГҐГГГ®Г±ГІГј. ГЏГ®Г±Г¬Г®ГІГ°ГЁ ГГ ГГҐГЈГ® ГЈГ«Г Г§Г Г¬ГЁ ГЎГіГ¤ГіГ№ГҐГЈГ® Г°Г ГЎГ®ГІГ®Г¤Г ГІГҐГ«Гї. Г‚ ГГҐГ¬ ГГҐГІ ГІГҐГЎГї Г ГЎГ±Г®Г«ГѕГІГГ®. Г…Г¤ГЁГГ±ГІГўГҐГГГ»Г© Г¬Г®Г¬ГҐГГІ, ГЄГ®ГІГ®Г°Г»Г© ГЄГ Г±Г ГҐГІГ±Гї ГІГҐГЎГї Г«ГЁГ·ГГ®, ГЅГІГ® ГІГ®, Г·ГІГ® ГІГ» ГіГ·ГЁГёГјГ±Гї Гў ГЃГ°ГїГГ±ГЄГ®Г¬ ГіГГЁГўГҐГ°Г±ГЁГІГҐГІГҐ. ГЉГ ГЄГЁГ¬ Г®ГЎГ°Г Г§Г®Г¬, ГіГ§ГГ Гў ГІГ®Г«ГјГЄГ® ГЅГІГ®, Г®Г ГўГ®Г±ГЇГ»Г«Г ГҐГІ Г¦ГҐГ«Г ГГЁГҐГ¬ ГІГҐГЎГї ГўГ§ГїГІГј ГГ Г°Г ГЎГ®ГІГі ГЁГ«ГЁ ГµГ®ГІГї ГЎГ» ГЇГ°ГЁГЈГ«Г Г±ГЁГІГј ГГ ГЁГГІГҐГ°ГўГјГѕ? ГЏГ®Г±Г¬Г®ГІГ°ГЁ Гў ГЈГіГЈГ«ГҐ Г®ГЎГ°Г Г§Г¶Г» cover letters. Г€ Г¤Г , Гі ГІГҐГЎГї Г®ГЄГ®Г«Г® 10 Г®ГёГЁГЎГ®ГЄ ГГ 6 ГЇГ°ГҐГ¤Г«Г®Г¦ГҐГГЁГ©. ГЏГҐГ°ГҐГ¤ГҐГ«Г ГІГј, ГЇГ°ГЁГ·ГҐГ¬ ГўГ±ГҐ Г± ГГ Г·Г Г«Г , IMHO.
_________________
ГЉГ«Г Г±Г±ГГ®!

anuta

OK, why didn't you write anything about yourself? Your specialty, skills, and work experience. You need to explain why are you applying to this particular company. How will you AND the company benefit from your work there? Show off yourself within reasonable limits, of course. Your goal is to convince them to offer you a position, so convince them!
Please, do not underestimate a Cover Letter; this is the most important thing that your employer will read; if he doesn't like what he sees he won't even go as far as reading your resume. I am speaking from my personal experience as I am perpetually asked to serve on various hiring committees and I tell you what: if a cover letter is "weak" then the whole application often goes to a "trash can".

LadyDi032

Ok anuta, I've got everything that you said! Thank you for this true words, and I will try with all my force to create such a cover letter that eveybody will like!! ГЉГ«Г Г±Г±ГГ®

So, of course, I knew that I wrote something really simple, actually, I've just tried to show you something. So, here is a new version of my cover letter, but I know that it's not so exsellent that it should be, so that is why i am here and I ask you for wise advise that all you can give me Г‘ГІГ»Г¤ГГ®

Thank you Debaser, for honest words, I am just leaning how to do it Г„ГіГ¬Г Гѕ

Just tell me what should I add and what should I delete, ok? I hope that you'll help me. Ok, let's see what I've done.....

Diana Greben
156-33 Moscow prospect
Bryansk, Russia 241004
Mobile: 89206021219
ladydi032@gmail.com

January 10, 2006

Employer Contact Information
Name
Title
Organization (ГЅГІГЁ ГЇГ®Г«Гї ГЎГіГ¤ГіГІ Г§Г ГЇГ®Г«ГГїГІГјГ±Гї ГГҐГЇГ®Г±Г°ГҐГ¤Г±ГІГўГҐГГГ® ГЇГҐГ°ГҐГ¤ Г®ГІГЇГ°Г ГўГЄГ®Г©)
Address
City, State, Zip Code

Dear Mr. Shah.
As an undergraduate student of Bryanks State Technical University (Russia), majoring in Applying computer science in economics, I would like to participate in the вЂњCareer Training USAвЂќ Program and I am looking for a host company for the internship. My opportunities include development of professional information systems on the all stages of there life cycle, to provide information security when company interact with the information markets using network I have a strong background in special economics computer programs as Project Expert, Quick Sales, Audit Expert and many others, software development and believe that these skills would benefit the activity of Collaborative technologies.

Your company is attached with IT services and solutions and very suitable for my specialty. I am interested in system administration services and I would like to apply for the consultant position upon completion of my degree in June 2007. Actually, here in Russia, this kind of companies as yours, is in the beginning of there development. At the same time, USA goes for 10 steps forward in the IT technologies. This useful experience will help me in my future job.

All the information about me, you can read in my resume below. Also I enclose all the information which connected with the вЂњCareer Training USAвЂќ program.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I will be happy to discuss my internship opportunity at Collaborative technologies by e-mail ladydi032@gmail.com or by mobile phone 89206021219.

Sincerely,
Diana Greben

Waiting for your recommendation....

anuta

OK, this letter is a little bit better. Here are few of my comments:
1. Replace вЂњmy opportunitiesвЂќ with something more appropriate, вЂњmy skillsвЂќ perhaps?
2. what is вЂњthereвЂќ? you mean вЂњtheirвЂќ?
3. Remove вЂњmany othersвЂќ when talking about economic computer programs
4. be specific about вЂњsoftware developmentвЂќ; give an example.
5. Why do you think the particular skills you have will benefit this company? Did they use exact same programs youвЂ™ve listed? Make sure you understand the specifics of this companyвЂ™s work.
6. Replace вЂњattachвЂќ with something more appropriate
7. Remove вЂњActuallyвЂќ
8. Last paragraph is not good at all; please redo it. You may say smth like that: Please find enclosed my resume and the information about вЂњCareer trainingвЂ¦вЂќ
9. Remove вЂњwaiting for your recommendationsвЂќ
10. Now, one more thing: too many grammatical errors; and the style of your writing is not there yet. Please, go over your writing with a fine tooth comb few more times.

Debaser

Diana,

Anuta already provided you with some useful input. Meanwhile, here is something I notice that is wrong with your grammar/style.

Diana Greben
156-33 Moscow prospect
Bryansk, Russia 241004
Cell phone: 89206021219 Russia country code is 7, not 8. So your phone number is +7-920-602-1219
ladydi032@gmail.com I suggest you get a more professionally looking e-mail address, such as Diana.Greben@gmail.com
January 10, 2006

Employer Contact Information
Name
Title
Organization (ГЅГІГЁ ГЇГ®Г«Гї ГЎГіГ¤ГіГІ Г§Г ГЇГ®Г«ГГїГІГјГ±Гї ГГҐГЇГ®Г±Г°ГҐГ¤Г±ГІГўГҐГГГ® ГЇГҐГ°ГҐГ¤ Г®ГІГЇГ°Г ГўГЄГ®Г©)
Address
City, State, Zip Code

Dear Mr. Shah,
I am an undergraduate student of Bryanks State Technical University (Russia), majoring in Applied Computer Science in Economics. I would like to participate in the вЂњCareer Training USAвЂќ Program and I am looking for a host company for the internship. Here should be a sentence WHY you think their company is the best opportunity for you. Major ass-kissing. My opportunities include development of professional information systems on the all the stages of their life cycle no comma to provide information security when company interact with the information markets using network. The whole sentence is longwinded and I am not sure anybody but you understands what life cycles of information systems are or that systems even have life. I have a strong background in professional economics computer programs such as Project Expert, Quick Sales, Audit Expert . deleted I also have developed software that does some important crap - describe it briefly! I do believe that these skills would greatly benefit deleted Collaborative Technologies.

Your company specializes in IT services and solutions, and very suitable for my specialty. I am interested in system administration services and I would like to apply for the consultant position upon completion of my degree in June 2007 This goes somewhere at the front of the letter, not at the end. Actually, here in Russia, this kind of companies as yours <Bad idea: you give away the fact that you are interested in any american company, and do not have a particularly great interest in working for THIS company>, is in the beginning of there development. At the same time, USA goes for 10 steps forward in the IT technologies. This useful experience will help me in my future job. Weak statement. Strong statement would be something like this: I am sure that the experience I will get from working for your company will be my invaluable asset and a strong foundation for my future career development.

OVERALL: the structure of the letter is not thought out well. I suggest to write it in Russian first and make sure that each sentence delivers very strong, concise AND relevant to the purpose of the letter message. You need to tell much more about your professional experiences. Also you need to change that " Your company works with IT. Yay! I wanna work there!" attitude. Know exactly what company does, make sure you want to do that and make sure that you communicate that in the letter to the prospective employer.

I have a question for you. Have you ever read any sample cover letter? There are thousands of them on the internet. Do read some of them please.
_________________
ГЉГ«Г Г±Г±ГГ®!

LadyDi032

Thank you Debaser, I really appreciate your remarks. I know that my grammar is not so excellent..... ГѓГ°ГіГ±ГІГј

You know, I downloaded several cover letters and I looked though them, may be not so carefully...So, know I see it's not so easy as it seems to be....and again thanks a lot....

Helen_NJ

LadyDi032

Г’Г ГЄ Гў ГІГ®Г¬ ГЁ Г¤ГҐГ«Г®, Г·ГІГ® ГЅГІГ® ГГҐ ГЇГ°Г®Г±ГІГ® Computer scince, Г ГЁГ¬ГҐГГГ® ГЇГ°ГЁГЄГ«Г Г¤ГГ Гї ГЁГГґГ®Г°Г¬Г ГІГЁГЄГ Гў ГЅГЄГ®ГГ®Г¬ГЁГЄГҐ, ГЇГ°ГЁГ·ГҐГ¬ Г§Г ГЄГ«ГѕГ·Г ГҐГІГ±Гї Г±ГЇГҐГ¶ГЁГ Г«ГјГГ®Г±ГІГј Гў ГІГ®Г¬, Г·ГІГ®ГЎГ» ГўГГҐГ¤Г°ГїГІГј ГіГ¦ГҐ ГЁГ¬ГҐГѕГ№ГЁГҐГ±Гї ГЇГ°Г®ГЈГ°Г Г¬Г¬Г»ГҐ ГЇГ°Г®Г¤ГіГЄГІГ», ГіГ·ГЁГІГ»ГўГ Гї Г®Г±Г®ГЎГҐГГГ®Г±ГІГЁ ГЄГ®ГГЄГ°ГҐГІГГ®ГЈГ® ГЇГ°ГҐГ¤ГЇГ°ГЁГїГІГЁГї, ГЁ Гї ГўГ°Г®Г¤ГҐ ГІГ ГЄГ®ГҐ ГЁ ГГ ГёГ«Г ...ГµГ®ГІГї ГІГ Г¬ Г±Г¬Г®ГІГ°ГїГІГј ГёГЁГ°ГҐ, ГІГ® ГҐГ±ГІ ГГҐ ГІГ®Г«ГјГЄГ® ГўГГҐГ¤Г°ГїГѕГІ ГЇГ°Г®ГЈГ°Г Г¬Г¬Г» ГЅГЄГ®ГГ®Г¬ГЁГ·ГҐГ±ГЄГ®Г© ГГ ГЇГ°Г ГўГ«ГҐГГГ®Г±ГІГЁ, ГІГ®ГЎГЁГёГј ГЇГ°Г®ГЈГ°Г Г¬Г¬Г» ГЎГѕГ¤Г¦ГҐГІГЁГ°Г®ГўГ ГГЁГї, ГЇГ®Г¤Г±Г·ГҐГІГ» Г±Г¬ГҐГІГ» Г§Г ГІГ°Г ГІ, Г ГЅГІГ ГЄГ®Г¬ГЇГ ГГЁГї Г§Г ГГЁГ¬Г ГҐГІГ±Гї ГЁГ¬ГҐГГГ® ГўГ®ГЇГ°Г®Г±Г®Г¬ Г Г¤Г¬ГЁГГЁГ±ГІГ°ГЁГ°Г®ГўГ ГГЁГї, Г°Г Г§Г°Г ГЎГ®ГІГЄГ®Г© ГіГЇГ°Г ГўГ«ГҐГГ·ГҐГ±ГЄГЁГµ Г°ГҐГёГҐГГЁГ©. Г’Г ГЄ Г·ГІГ® Гї Г¤ГіГ¬Г Гѕ, Г·ГІГ® ГЇГ°Г®Г±ГІГ® "Г€ГГґГ®Г°Г¬Г ГІГЁГЄГ " ГГҐ ГЈГ®Г¤ГЁГІГјГ±Гї, ГўГ®Г§Г¬Г®Г¦ГГ® ГЅГІГ® ГГ Г¤Г® ГЁГГІГҐГ°ГЇГ°ГҐГІГЁГ°Г®ГўГ ГІГј ГЄГ ГЄ-ГІГ® ГҐГ№ГҐ??

LadyDi032

Consulting Division - Collaborative Technologies will provide the right consultant for your project needs. Our consultants are carefully selected based on their experience review, technical evaluation, and background check. Additionally, Our consultants have been well trained and have extensive corporate experience in their particular IT concentration.

Total Solutions Division вЂ“ The Total Solutions Division will provide your organization with turnkey solutions to your Software Development, Systems Administration, and Network Management needs.

Software Development - Our staff expertise in software engineering allows us to extend our software development methodology and to affect the quality assurance process in the application and development of programs. This assures our clients well-designed, high-quality solutions.

Systems Administration вЂ“ Our Staff is well equipped to provide a wide range of system administration services including, in part: system upgrades, user registration, maintaining system access and security, load balancing, system fail over, disaster recovery, documentation, training, and general operations guidelines. We also encompass a complete suite of administrative support where clients are looking to outsource these operations.

Network Management вЂ“- Our staff will work with you to set and meet specific support needs while our engineers will work with you to effectively plan, assess, build and deploy emerging technologies throughout your corporate infrastructure. Collaborative Technologies is your single-source for meeting your network, management and development needs.

That is what the company exactly. I am just really interested in such activity....but the problem is that i don't know how they call such a position as mine.....so it's the only one company I found.. Г‘Г«ГҐГ§Г»

LadyDi032

Г€ ГЇГ®Г«ГЈГ®Г¤Г ГГҐ ГЇГ°Г®ГёГ«Г®....... Г‘Г¬ГҐГµ

Г‚Г±ГҐГ¬ ГЇГ°ГЁГўГҐГІГЁГЄ!!!
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Г“ Г¬ГҐГГї ГІГ ГЄГЁГҐ ГГ®ГўГ®Г±ГІГЁ....
Г‘ГҐГ±Г±ГЁГѕ Г±Г¤Г Г«Г ГіГ¤Г Г·ГГ®, ГѓГЋГ‘Г» ГІГ®Г¦ГҐ...Г‘ГҐГ©Г·Г Г± ГГ Г¤ГЁГЇГ«Г®Г¬ГҐ..
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ГЉГ®Г¬ГЇГ ГГЁГї ГГ Г§Г»ГўГ ГҐГІГ±Гї R-Style Soflab (www.softlab.ru), Г‘ГЇГҐГ¶ГЁГ Г«ГЁГ±ГІ Г®ГІГ¤ГҐГ«Г Г±Г®ГЇГ°Г®ГўГ®Г¦Г¤ГҐГГЁГї ГЎГ ГГЄГ®ГўГ±ГЄГ®ГЈГ® ГЇГ°Г®ГЈГ°Г Г¬Г¬ГГ®ГЈГ® Г®ГЎГҐГ±ГЇГҐГ·ГҐГГЁГї RS-Bank/Pervasive....Г‚Г®ГІ ГІГҐГЇГҐГ°Гј ГГ ГЎГЁГ°Г ГѕГ±Гј Г®ГЇГ»ГІГ Г“Г«Г»ГЎГЄГ

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