ГђГ Г§ГЈГ®ГўГ®Г°Г» Г®ГЎ ГЂГ¬ГҐГ°ГЁГЄГҐ

Vecar

not jokes, actually, but rather interesting:
Say not "I have found the truth", but rather, "I have found a truth."
/Kahlil Gibran

It's very easy to "take it easy", when you have nothing to take easy.
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals

Helen_NJ

Helen_NJ

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?" Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland.

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?

"Suspicion of anything foreign."

Vecar

By giving us the opinion of the uneducated, [journalism] keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community
Oscar Wilde

There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
(Г‘Г«Г®ГўГҐГГ±ГЄГ Гї ГЇГ®ГЈГ®ГўГ®Г°ГЄГ )

It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life.
(Г€Г°Г«Г ГГ¤Г±ГЄГ Гї Г“Г«Г»ГЎГЄГ

)

His absence is good company.
(Г€ГГ¤ГЁГ©Г±ГЄГ Гї)

If you seek a reputation for wisdom, agree with everyone.
(Г…ГўГ°ГҐГ©Г±ГЄГ Гї)

He promised me earrings, but he only pierced my ears.
(ГГ®ГІГ«Г ГГ¤Г±ГЄГ Гї)

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go to the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals

Vecar

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Phillips
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals

Vecar

In an attempt to put a halt to the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has decided to bomb the Canary Islands.
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals

White Owl

ГЂГўГІГ®Г°, ГіГўГ» ГГҐГЁГ§ГўГҐГ±ГІГҐГ.

There were forty-five of us in that Russian class thinking varying versions of the same thing when the teacher, a rangy Alabaman named вЂњTigerвЂќ Titus, entered the room. After a formal вЂњGood morningвЂќ he went straight to the front of the room and wrote the Russian (Cyrillic) alphabet on the blackboard.
You could feel the groupвЂ™s spirit sink notch by notch as each of RussianвЂ™s вЂњfunny lookingвЂќ letters appeared. Students were allowed under university rules to abandon a course and get themselves into another as long as they did it within three days after the beginning of the term. We had defections from Russian class in mid-alphabet. By the time Tiger Titus turned around to face us, he had fewer students than had entered the room.
вЂњMy soul!вЂќ exclaimed one of the deserters when I caught up with him at the cafeteria later that day. вЂњIвЂ™ve never seen anything like that Russian alphabet before in my life. Why, theyвЂ™ve got vвЂ™s that look like bвЂ™s, nвЂ™s that look like hвЂ™s, uвЂ™s that look like yвЂ™s, rвЂ™s that look like pвЂ™s, and pвЂ™s that look like sawed off goal posts. They got a backwards n thatвЂ™s really an e and an x that sounds like youвЂ™re gagging on a bone. They got a vowel that looks like the number sixty-one, a consonant that looks like a butterfly with its wings all the way out, and damned if they donвЂ™t even have a B-flat!вЂќ
The next day there were no longer forty-five members of the universityвЂ™s first Russian class. There were five.

Helen_NJ

ГЉГ Г«Г Г¬ГЎГіГ°Г·ГЁГЄ. Г“Г«Г»ГЎГЄГ

A man went to a zoo but all it had was a dog.
It was a Shitzu.

Vecar

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
_________________
-Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'?
-I think they've killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals

Andrew

ГЏГ®Г«ГіГ·ГЁГ« ГўГ®ГІ ГЇГ® ГЇГ®Г·ГІГҐ:

Slava

ГЋГ±Г®ГЎГҐГГГ® 40ГҐ Г¤Г«Гї ГІГҐГЎГї ГЇГ®Г¤Г®ГёГ«Г® Г‘Г¬ГҐГµ

_________________
Good judgment comes from expirience.
Expirience comes from bad judgment

Helen_NJ

How do you identify a bald eagle? All of his feathers are combed to one side.