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Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 29, 2009 9:14pm     :

Êîëëåãè ïðèñëàëè:

:
Random Thoughts

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
    e-mail
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 29, 2009 9:18pm     :

Ñïåðòî ñ äðóãîãî ôîðóìà:

Íà êóðñàõ àíãëèéñêîãî ÿçûêà äàëè èíäóñó çàäàíèå ñî÷èíèòü ìàëåíüêèé ðàññêàç ñî ñëîâàìè: Green, Yellow, Pink. Ó íåãî ïîëó÷èëîñü âîò ÷òî: Early morning. I wake up. The phone: "green-green, green-green!". I pink up. And say: "Yellow?"

Øèðîêàÿ óëûáêà (no direspect èíäóñàì)
    e-mail
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 30, 2009 3:45am     :

Helen_NJ ():
Êîëëåãè ïðèñëàëè:

Ñìåõ

Îñîáåííî ïîðàäîâàëè ýòè ïóíêòû:
:

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.


Î÷åíü ñìåøíî!
_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 1, 2009 9:56pm     :


_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
L-vira
Ãðàæäàíî÷êà ìèðà


: 05.09.2003
: 909
: Kazan, Ru

: , 5, 2009 9:39am     :

Ìäÿ...
_________________
Happiness is a state of mind!
rommy
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 07.10.2006
: 226
: Ukraine

: , 5, 2009 8:41pm     :

L-vira ():
Ìäÿ...

Íå ìäÿ,à "ôîòîøîï". Óëûáêà



Îòæèã æóðíàëèñòîâ (ìîæåò è áàÿí,íî ÿ ýòîãî íå âèäåë).
http://www.gazeta.ru/sport/2009/01/a_2921166.shtml
Çàãîëîâîê!!!

 îðèãèíàëå ôàìèëèÿ http://www.fis-ski.com/uk/news/fisnews/fisnews.html?actu_id_444=1074&actu_page_444=1&s=moscow



Èç ðàçðÿäà "Êëèåíò âñåãäà ïðàâ???" (âèäåî)
http://autochel.ru/service/advice/231310.html
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 7, 2009 9:18pm     :

rommy ():
Îòæèã æóðíàëèñòîâ (ìîæåò è áàÿí,íî ÿ ýòîãî íå âèäåë).

Herr Hujara - ýòî ÷òî-òî! Ñìåõ
    e-mail
rommy
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 07.10.2006
: 226
: Ukraine

: , 11, 2009 9:19pm     :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cxitNqSnU&feature=player_embedded

×óæîé ñìåõ çàðàçèòåëåí ïëþñ êî âñåìó ÒÎ,÷òî òàùèò ýòà äåâêà.
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 12, 2009 3:35am     :

rommy ():
×óæîé ñìåõ çàðàçèòåëåí ïëþñ êî âñåìó ÒÎ,÷òî òàùèò ýòà äåâêà.

Ñìåõ Êëàññíî!
_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 14, 2009 4:18pm     :

Êèòàéñêèé âàðèàíò ïåðåâîäà:


_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
ßí Ôèõòåð
Ñóïåð-ïóïåð ìåãà-îôôòîïùèê


: 03.06.2005
: 691
: Èðêóòñê

: , 15, 2009 2:16am     :

Andrew ():
Êèòàéñêèé âàðèàíò ïåðåâîäà:

Ïðèêîëüíî ))) Âîò îêàçûâàåòñÿ ÷åì æåíùèíû íîãòè ïîëèðóþò )))
_________________
Íå èùè ïðîòîðåííûõ ïóòåé. Èäè äîðîãàìè, êîòîðûõ íåò íà êàðòå, è îñòàâü ñâîé ñëåä
    e-mail
Helen_NJ
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 13.11.2003
: 1539
: NC, USA

: , 14, 2009 2:09am     :

Spell Checker Poem Øèðîêàÿ óëûáêà

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea,
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight for it two say,
Weather eye and wring oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long,
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Eye have run this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no,
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
    e-mail
White Owl
Øòàòíûé çàíóäà


: 10.03.2003
: 2452
: USA, New York City

: , 14, 2009 1:19pm     :

Âîò çäåñü åñòü èñòîðèÿ ýòîãî ñòèõà, è åãî îðèãèíàëüíûå âåðñèè:
http://grammar.about.com/od/spelling/a/spellcheck.htm
    e-mail MSN Messenger
Àðòåì
Ìîäåðàòîð


: 10.03.2003
: 8295
: Russia, Ufa

: , 10, 2009 9:07am     :

Íå çíàþ, ìîæåò áàÿí...

:

Ó÷åíèê

Ó ó÷èòåëüíèöû ïåðâîãî êëàññà âîçíèêëè òðóäíîñòè ñ îäíèì èç ó÷åíèêîâ.
Îíà ñïðîñèëà: «×òî ñ òîáîé, ìàëü÷èê?»
Ìàëü÷èê îòâåòèë: "ß ñëèøêîì óìíûé äëÿ ïåðâîãî êëàññà. Ìîÿ ñåñòðà â òðåòüåì, à ÿ óìíåå åå! Äóìàþ, ÿ òîæå äîëæåí ó÷èòüñÿ â òðåòüåì!»
Äëÿ ó÷èòåëüíèöû ýòî áûëî óæå ñëèøêîì. Îíà ïîâåëà ìàëü÷èêà ê äèðåêòîðó è îáúÿñíèëà âñþ ñèòóàöèþ. Äèðåêòîð ïîäóìàë è ñêàçàë ìàëü÷èêó: «ß ïðîâåäó òåñò, è åñëè òû íå ñìîæåò îòâåòèòü íà êàêîé-íèáóäü èç âîïðîñîâ, òî âåðíåøüñÿ îáðàòíî â ïåðâûé êëàññ, è áóäåøü âåñòè ñåáÿ õîðîøî».
Ìàëü÷èê ñîãëàñèëñÿ.
- Ñêîëüêî áóäåò 3 x 3?»
- 9
- Ñêîëüêî áóäåò 6 x 6?
- 36
È òàê áûëî ñ êàæäûì âîïðîñîì, íà êîòîðûé, ïî ìíåíèþ äèðåêòîðà, òðåòüåêëàññíèê äîëæåí çíàòü îòâåò. Òîãäà äèðåêòîð ïîâåðíóëñÿ ê ó÷èòåëüíèöå è ñêàçàë: «Äóìàþ, ìàëü÷èê ìîæåò ïîéòè â òðåòèé êëàññ».
Òîãäà ïðåïîäàâàòåëüíèöà îòâåòèëà, "Ó ìåíÿ òîæå åñòü ñâîè âîïðîñû:
- ×òî åñòü ó êîðîâû â êîëè÷åñòâå 4, à ó ìåíÿ òîëüêî 2?
Ìàëü÷èê, ïîñëå ïàóçû îòâåòèë:
- Íîãè
- À ÷òî åñòü òàêîãî â òâîèõ áðþêàõ, ÷åãî íåò â ìîèõ?
- Êàðìàíû
- ×òî òâåðäîå è ðîçîâîå - êîãäà âõîäèò, è ìÿãêîå è ëèïêîå - êîãäà âûõîäèò?
Äèðåêòîð îñòîëáåíåë ñ ðàñêðûòûìè ãëàçàìè, è íå óñïåë îïåðåäèòü îòâåò.
- Æâà÷êà!
- ×òî äåëàåò ìóæ÷èíà - ñòîÿ, æåíùèíà - ñèäÿ, à ïåñ - íà òðåõ ëàïàõ?
Òåïåðü ãëàçà äèðåêòîðà íà ñàìîì äåëå âûïó÷èëèñü øèðîêî, íî ïðåæäå ÷åì îí óñïåë, ÷òî-òî ñêàçàòü, ìàëü÷èê îòâåòèë:
- Ïîäàåò ðóêó
- Òåïåðü ÿ çàäàì 7 âîïðîñîâ èç ðàçðÿäà ÊÒÎ ß? Òû âñòàâëÿåøü â ìåíÿ ñâîé êîë. È ÿ ñòàíîâëþñü ìîêðîé ðàíüøå òåáÿ:
- Ïàëàòêà
-  ìåíÿ âõîäèò ïàëåö. Ëó÷øèé ìóæ÷èíà ïîëó÷àåò ìåíÿ ïåðâûì?
- Îáðó÷àëüíîå êîëüöî
- Ó ìåíÿ òóãîé ñòåðæåíü. Ìîé êîíåö âîíçàåòñÿ. Â äâèæåíèè ÿ äðîæó?
- Ñòðåëà
- Êàêîå ñëîâî â àíãëèéñêîì ÿçûêå íà÷èíàåòñÿ ñ F è çàêàí÷èâàåòñÿ íà K è îçíà÷àåò ìíîãî æàðà è âîëíåíèé?
- Firetruck» (Ïîæàðêà)
- Êàêîå ñëîâî íà÷èíàåòñÿ ñ F è çàêàí÷èâàåòñÿ íà K? Åñëè ýòîãî íåò, òåáå ïðèõîäèòñÿ ðàáîòàòü ðóêàìè?
Fork (Âèëêà)
Ýòî åñòü ó âñåõ ìóæ÷èí, ó êîãî-òî ýòî äëèííåå, ó êîãî-òî êîðî÷å. Ìóæ÷èíà äàåò ýòî ñâîåé æåíå, ïîñëå ñâàäüáû?
- Ôàìèëèÿ
- Ó êàêîãî îðãàíà íåò êîñòåé, åñòü ìûøöû è ìíîãî âåí. Îí ïóëüñèðóåò è îòâå÷àåò çà çàíÿòèÿ ëþáîâüþ?
- Ñåðäöå
Äèðåêòîð ñ îáëåã÷åíèåì âûäîõíóë è ñêàçàë ó÷èòåëüíèöå:
Îòïðàâüòå åãî ïðÿìî â óíèâåðñèòåò!!! Íà ïîñëåäíèå 7 âîïðîñîâ ÿ ñàì îòâåòèë íåïðàâèëüíî!
Andrew
Ãëàâíûé òðåïà÷


: 01.03.2003
: 10421
: Èðêóòñê, RU -> Los Angeles, US

: , 10, 2009 3:48pm     :

Àðòåì ():
Íå çíàþ, ìîæåò áàÿí...

Ñìåõ
_________________
Àíäðåé Ãåðàñèìîâ
Paul
Æèòåëü ôîðóìà


: 29.09.2003
: 171
: Piter, RUS

: , 11, 2009 7:40pm     :

Ñóïåð!
_________________
future >> reality
    e-mail
White Owl
Øòàòíûé çàíóäà


: 10.03.2003
: 2452
: USA, New York City

: , 12, 2009 9:25pm     :

Çàäàëè ìíå òóò â êà÷åñòâå äîìàøíåé ðàáîòû íàïèñàòü îáçîð ýêñïåðèìåíòîâ Harry Harlow ñ îáåçüÿíàìè. Íó ÿ êàê ïðèëè÷íûé ó÷åíèê ðåøèë åùå è âèäåî-çàïèñè ýòèõ ýêñïåðèìåíòîâ ïîñìîòðåòü.
 îäíîì ýêñïåðèìåíòå ìàëûøà ìàêàêè-ðåçóñà ïóãàþò "ñòðàøíûì ìîíñòðîì", ìàëûø ñíà÷àëà óáåãàåò èñêàòü çàùèòû ó êóêëû èçîáðàæàþùåé ìàòü, ïîòîì íà÷èíàåò íàïàäàòü íà ñòðàøíîãî ìîíñòðà - ïðîãîíÿòü åãî.
Âèäåî êîí÷àåòñÿ è YouTube êàê îáû÷íî âûäàåò ïàðó ëèíêîâ íà ïîõîæåå âèäåî. Ñìîòðþ ÿ íà ýòè ëèíêè è âûïàäàþ â îñàäîê:
    e-mail MSN Messenger
Àðòåì
Ìîäåðàòîð


: 10.03.2003
: 8295
: Russia, Ufa

: , 12, 2009 9:50pm     :

White Owl ():
Ñìîòðþ ÿ íà ýòè ëèíêè è âûïàäàþ â îñàäîê:


Øèðîêàÿ óëûáêà Øèðîêàÿ óëûáêà Øèðîêàÿ óëûáêà
Àðòåì
Ìîäåðàòîð


: 10.03.2003
: 8295
: Russia, Ufa

: , 13, 2009 8:57am     :

Êàê óñòàíîâèòü óñòðîéñòâî? Âñ¸ î÷åíü ïðîñòî - íóæíî áåæàòü è âçäðàãèâàòü! Óëûáêà



(c) exler.ru: http://www.exler.ru/bannizm/13-11-2009.htm
Àðòåì
Ìîäåðàòîð


: 10.03.2003
: 8295
: Russia, Ufa

: , 19, 2009 5:02pm     :

Òåëåôîí ðóñèôèöèðîâàííûé, íî êèòàéöàìè (íå ïðèêîë - ðåàëüíî; ñåðûé èìïîðò):


Âîéäèòå â òåëåôîííûé êîäåêñ çàìêà = Ââåäèòå êîä òåëåôîíà
Âîéäèòå â ÁÓËÀÂÊÓ, Âîòêíèòå ÈÃËÓ = Ââåäèòå ÏÈÍ
Èñïûòàíèÿ îñòàþòñÿ = Îñòàëîñü ïîïûòîê
Êîäåêñ ïðèíÿò = Êîä ïðèíÿò
Çâîíèòå êíèãå = Òåëåôîííàÿ êíèãà
Óäàëèòå áðåâíî çàïðîñà = Î÷èñòèòü æóðíàë âûçîâîâ
Íåò Íàëè÷íûé = MMS
Çâóêîâîé ÿùèê = Ãîëîñîâàÿ ïî÷òà
Ñîîáùåíèå ðàäèîïåðåäà÷è = Èíôîðìàöèîííûå ñîîáùåíèÿ
Ïðåäïî÷òèòå ïðåäúÿâèòåëü = Ïðåäïî÷èòàåìàÿ ñåòü
Ïðèëàâîê = Ñ÷åò÷èê (SMS, GPRS è ò.ï.)
Ïðèëàâîê ïåðåíàáîðà = Ñáðîñèòü ñ÷åò÷èê
Ïðîåêòû = ×åðíîâèêè
Ïðåäíàçíà÷èòü èíôîðìàöèþ = Øàáëîíû
Íàçíà÷åíèÿ = Íàñòðîéêè
Ìîùü ãðàôèêà = Âêë/âûêë ïî ðàñïèñàíèþ
Ïîêàçèòü õàðàêòåðèñòèêó = Íàñòðîéêè äèñïëåÿ
Ñïàñèòå ýêðàí = Ýêðàííàÿ çàñòàâêà
Ñïàñèòå = Ñîõðàíèòü (ôàéë)
Ïîñâÿùåííûé êëþ÷ = Íàçíà÷åíèå "áûñòðûõ êëàâèø"
Ìåëîäèÿ ñîñòàâëÿåò = Ñèíòåçàòîð ìåëîäèé
Çâóêîâîé ðåãèñòðàòîð, ðåãîðäîð = Äèêòîôîí
Ðåêîðäû = Çàïèñè
Èãðîê = Ïëååð
Îáúåì = Ãðîìêîñòü
Ìîäà, Ñïîñîá = Ðåæèì
Ñèíèå çóáû, Ñèíèéòîæåth = Bluetooth™
Çâîíèòå õðàíåíèþ = Ïàìÿòü òåëåôîíà
Óðîâåíü íåïëàòåæåé íàáîðà = Óñòàíîâêà óðîâíåé ïî óìîë÷àíèþ
Ïðèëîæèòü = Ïîäêëþ÷èòü
Âñïîìîãàòåëüíàÿ êëàâèàòóðà, êîòîðóþ îòïèðàþò! = Êëàâèàòóðà ðàçáëîêèðîâàíà!
Äâèãàé ê = Ïåðåéòè ê (â WAP-áðàóçåðå)
ßñíîå ïå÷åíüå = Î÷èñòèòü cookies
:   
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